Trial & Error… Rest When Needed

Life is our greatest teacher.

How do we learn? By trial and error, of course.

Just when we think we have things figured out, something happens that was not in our plan. It diverts our attention, time and energy. And, sometimes it forces us to (kicking and screaming, if need be) rest.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t sit idle well. Never have, probably never will. There’s always chores to be done. Well, I take that back. I can sit for a period of time if there’s a sunrise or sunset involved.

This past year has thrown me for a loop, knocked me on my ass and kicked me in the shins (to say the least). At the beginning of 2017, I knew something needed to change within my digital magazine – Elements For A Healthier Life. I desperately sought the golden keys and asked everyone possible for insight to what it was I was missing. Then, on April 10th, my oldest son died. My breath stopped.

Scrambling to hold onto my business, youngest son, grandsons and my sanity, I sunk myself into a deep, dark crevice of cruelest hell imaginable. I declared, “It’s my fault” as if a badge of honor.

“It’s my fault my son died.”
“It’s my fault I cannot buy groceries.”
“It’s my fault that I am in a pit of debt I may never climb out of.”
“It’s my fault I cannot publish a magazine… earn money… have fun… be out in public…” and the self-beating continues.

Life happens for us, not at us.

My internal compass guided me to take Eddie Mullins’ Self-Love Course. To be truthful, the divine within made it damn clear I’d better take the course – or else!

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“We gain our greatest wisdom by listening to our heart, sitting in nature, through adversity and by helping others.”[/pullquote]
On a bitter cold evening, I sat on a tree Jeremiah and I had fallen a year prior. Perched on the pealing bark I sat with the intent to rest and absorb the sun’s rays as it set in the western skyline. I watched a black squirrel leap from one branch to another to another. He was in total faith of reaching his targeted destination. I chuckled, and thought, “I leaped, had faith, and fell flat on my ass. I’m pathetic.” I cried. I’d worked hard at re-wording, re-configuring, re-vamping my self-destructive thoughts, but there they were again. This time, I listened to the pain between the words. I heard the wisdom between the syllables. I felt my heart transform the internal cruelty to lessons of love.

I learned a lot of hard lessons in 2017. Like, don’t sweat the small stuff (hint: it’s all small stuff). Pitching FREE products, downloads and services does NOT, I repeat – does NOT, pay the bills.

When I finally let go of control of what I was suppose to be doing (and the panic associated with it) and listened to my heart, opportunities began to appear. I allowed myself the time to rest, stop thinking and simply be present in the moment.

As you can easily see on ElementsForAHealthierLife.com, I placed the magazine on hiatus for a couple of months. I need this time to myself. A grieving momma can only do so much. Another lesson learned. It’s clear to me now that forcing “stuff” to happen when the divine within demands idleness…well, it’s not a good idea. I’ll leave it at that.

I stopped forcing, pushing, demanding and searching for the answers, and miraculously I found the golden keys. I had them the entire time. I was busy looking elsewhere that I didn’t look at what I had in my hands.

A common saying that I’ve repeated for too many years is, “I can sell other people’s stuff, but I cannot sell my own.” Looking at those words and seeing the knowledge weaved throughout, you know what I see? I see a person who is not ready, nor dedicated, to being an entrepreneur. That’s a hard pill for me to swallow.

In the past week I have accomplished a tremendous amount of back-office work on this website and ElementsForAHealthierLife.com. It feels good to be productive. I have narrowed the focus of my services as a virtual assistant and put my one-on-one coaching services on hiatus. I have a clearer vision for the community I am building at ElementsForAHealthierLife.com. I am starting to implement ways to receive revenue from that website so it can financially support itself and a staff to manage it.

Life is an amazing adventure.

It’s our imperfections that attract the people we resonate with. It is the ebb and flow of life that brings us together. Through trial and error, I am learning to rest when needed. In the next week, weeks or maybe in a month, I will be sharing with you how I am re-branding Elements For A Healthier Life, my services and products.

Baby, you got this.