Think I’ll Go For A Walk Now

This is one wonky, unpredictable, and, yet, somehow a liberating trip. And, I’ve been on the road for just over a week. Nothing makes sense, nothing seems to be following the plan, and, yet… Oh who am I kidding. I don’t any well-crafted pearls of wisdom to pour onto the page.

I didn’t have the intuitive push, inspiration, or need to leave Michigan like the previous two years. Instead, the intuitive-self kept repeating you choose or it’s your decision. The inspiration and motivation to do anything has all been extinguished.

It was nice not to think as one mile marker turned into a thousand. The monkey mind wasn’t hyped up on anxiety, fear of XYZ, or even curious of what lay in wait this winter. She, my unruly monkey mind, sat in the passenger seat next to Willie James and watched as I maneuvered ahead of slower vehicles and when the traffic passed the truck I drove.

Due to the policies and regulations (in regards to covid), I’ve determined it’s not wise for me to visit certain states. While talking to fellow travelers, I picked up on the frequency of their energy and felt the anxiety consuming the communities they spoke of. I do not want to live in fear. I want step out of my home-on-wheels in the morning with my cup of hot tea and take in a deep breath of fresh air as I watch the sunrise. Calm. Relaxed. Peaceful.

My wish, one wish I wish I could spread wide and far, is to remind people when we live in a state of constant fear and anxiety, it’s hard on our precious bodies and even more damaging to our mental state of being. We are not meant to live in a continuous state of fight or flight, anger and rage, hate and despising other human beings. I know from experience. For me, it was an exceptionally toxic job. It almost killed me; actually, in many ways it did.

When the virus hit the news in March, my anxiety level skyrocketed. On March 13th, they closed the state parks I was residing. My intuition screamed loud enough people next to me heard it say, “Get on the other side of the Mississippi River! NOW!”

Initially I thought I’d take a casually drive across the country, but each place I stopped to camp for a couple of days something prevented me from staying. Either I had no cell service (my only line of communication and source of news), the campground had no vacancies, or I didn’t feel safe there. Lurking in my heart was the voice saying, “Get. Across. The. Mississippi. River. NOW!”

That fear flowed through my veins as I drove out of New Mexico, through Texas, Oklahoma and Arkansas until I was half way across the bridge straddling the massive flowing river. Once I crossed the Tennessee state line, I felt every cell of my body exhale and my shoulders drop from being hiked up around my ears.

My soul cried as I watched a large number of friends and individuals I follow on Facebook name call, photo-shame, and by-all-means destroy relationships with friends, family members, business owners, and community leaders out of fear. I posted several statements, memes, and songs to encourage the action of kindness and loving one and another. The posts got very little reaction. The hatred, cruelty, and viciousness on social media escalated. It broke my heart. The kindest, most loving thing I could do was to remain off Facebook. I tried to maintain the UnBox Your Kitchen group page, however found myself falling into the rabbit hole of posts. The “shaming” photographs of people walking in a store without a mask hit me the hardest. Individuals were intentionally harming other people without any mercy. I commented a couple of times, remaining neutral, stating they (prior to mandates) had freewill choice or relatable comments to maintain the role of peacekeeper. Well, that blew up in my face. You’d have thought I was the devil for sticking up for someone’s personal freewill and choice. That was it. My soul wept. I prayed and bowed out of social media completely until this fall when I attempted to regain momentum with UnBox Your Kitchen Facebook group again.

Right now, as I write this, I’m overlooking a lake and watching the oak leaves drop to the ground. The sky is blue, the water calm. This is my second autumn season. How beautiful. I had to pause because I could feel my energy sink back into a state of unhealthiness.

On my way through Illinois, I pondered the idea of actively writing articles in Elements For A Healthier Life again. I was inspired to focus on how to strengthen our immune system. The news media, in my opinion, has really dropped the ball in regards to attracting an audience. Instead of fear-driving numbers of death tolls and illnesses, what affect would it have on our society if they provided us with insights and (natural/real) information on how to live healthier and feel better?

And then I sabotaged myself by saying, “Who am I to…?” Lord I hate that statement.

In a conversation with my mentor on Monday, he suggested I write a book regarding the Elements For A Healthier Life. Funny thing is, I started writing one two years ago and had a blip of inspiration to work on it somewhere on Highway 55 a week ago.

In search of the book draft this morning, I came across notes for a keynote speech I was going to give this spring. The first thing I saw when I opened the file was: Writing is an intimate process of communicating with Self. It’s in bold and a larger font than the rest of the text on the page.

I paused.

I need to write this book.

I need to write this book not for someone else, but for myself.

I need to read the wisdom within after the words rush from my heart, down my arms, and out the tips of my fingers tap-dancing on the keyboard.

I want to interview individuals and explore their knowledge of the elements for living a healthier life. There’s a growing list of things to research that may or may not be included.

Things are very different this winter from the past two years. I’m learning to trust on a deeper level and allowing things to come to me versus forcing them to happens. Eh, maybe I’m just blowin’ smoke up my own butt. One thing is for certain, Willie James are not going to remained cooped up in this camper. It’s a gorgeous day for a hike in nature. It’s one of the most loving things I can do for myself in this moment.

My love to you all…

Captured moments along the way…