Letting Go & Shrinking Spaces

It’s not easy to let go of the critical monkey-mind voice somedays. When I edited the podcast interviews with Barb Parcells and Christin Bjergbakke, I thought, Damn, we sound good. Now, as I listen to them from the Apple Podcast app on my phone, the critical voice is snidely repeating, “You know, you know, you know… Umm, umm, Umm. You know…” with a mean, female high schooler overtone.

I’m trying to be kind to myself. You know, laugh it off. It’s been years since I’ve, um, you know, been on either side of the monitor recording podcasts and making YouTube videos.

The idea of writing out a variety of anticipated questions saved me with the last couple of interviews. Why didn’t I think of that before hand? Because we learn from experience. That’s why.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been asked by several acquaintances for details about my nomadic lifestyle. Oddly enough the questions arose when I started to contemplate the idea of settling down and finding a home to rent this summer.

The honeymoon is over, I suppose. This is the third winter living in a camper. The first two years I bounced from state park to state park. The desire for such freedom faded this winter and the decision to have the same dirt under my feet for a while festered. I’m thrilled to report I’ve found “home” in Texas and plan to remain here until spring.

I admit I do miss shoveling snow, mowing the lawn and pulling weeds out of my garden. Mainly, I miss the garden in my backyard. It was my safe haven.

“I’m tired of being tied down,” is the claim I hear most often from individuals looking to escape their current living arrangements.

Well, I certainly have my freedoms. And, I still remain limited in other aspects. If I don’t like the scenery, I can hook up and drive my home to another location. Of course, being at the mercy of campground availability, gas prices, road construction and blah, blah, blah is not marketed from those selling the nomadic lifestyle concept.

In a society eager to make a buck, I’d love to share with you a bit of reality minus the sugar coating.

First of all, where ever you go, you bring you with you. If you hate your life at home, you’ll still hate your life at what ever location you park. Why? It’s a mindset issue, not a location issue.

The camper will shrink in size. Even though Willie James and I live very well together and maintain a well-oiled routine, there are times when we get in each other’s way. He’s been unable to get around me when I’m working on the plumbing or cooking our dinner. Just so you know, Willie James is a seventeen pound chiweenie and smaller in size than the average house cat. I can’t imagine having one of my labs along for the ride. I’d never get to sit on the sofa!

Now onto relationships. This will shrink the camper size even more! If you believe this road trip living is going to fix your relationship, you’re sadly mistaken. Sorry. I cannot lie to you.

A friend who is considering the nomadic lifestyle with their spouse has, over the years, shared with me frustrations of her spouse. At one point they were close to divorce. This will truly put any relationship to the test. It’s not like you can escape to the basement or garage to get away from the other person. I highly discourage living in a camper together if the only sex you have is telling the other to f*ck off while passing each other in the hallway. One of you will be left along the freeway.

I can’t explain it, but reactions to fellow drivers (aka road rage) is much different when you’re hauling your five thousand pound home with the remaining bit of your possessions. “Back the f*ck off, Jack,” takes on a whole new meaning in rush hour traffic when you have to cross three lanes of bumper-to-bumper vehicles to take an exit five miles ahead in the rain and everyone (including you) is driving seventy-five miles per hour. Tempers easily flair up on the highway. I’ve personally mellowed out and have learned to chill on the busy, city highways. Well, you could say I’ve gotten quite used to it. Not much fazes me out there.

Oh, and by the way, the bathroom wall are not sound proof and neither is the camper walls. What happens in the bathroom happens in the camper. There’s a good chance your neighbor heard it, too. Yeah. Just saying. Same goes for sex. Yeah. We’ll hear that, too.

Just like any new change, there’s always an adjustment period. Be kind to yourself and anyone within reach.

Also, if you don’t like spiders… well, beware. You are, after all, moving into their turf.

To answer another popular question: what do I use for internet. My cell phones. I have two phones (using different carriers). I do need to get back to editing the Pen to Paper Press Podcasts and schedule them for the upcoming weeks. It’s been fun writing to y’all. I need to do this more often.