The Adventure Continues…
An Ultimatum Directed at Spirit is a Bad, Bad Idea
“You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can’t, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don’t give up.”
What happens when you give Spirit a deadline. Or, in this case, an ultimatum. I have to caution you on this activity. It is the furtherest thing from manifesting. As a matter of fact, it is a great way to get bitchslapped by the Divine Ones. Okay, that might be a little excessive — or is it?
So here is what happened to me. I was sitting at my table in my camper somewhere in Texas anxiety stricken minding (literally) my business sorting out expenses for the accountant days away from the end of March. The income numbers were easy-peasy. A year prior I promised myself I would be better about logging the information. Well, add a dash of grief, a lot of traveling and hiking, and semi-load of attempts to launch various programs, offers and et cetera, and I didn’t fulfill my obligation. Truth be told, I didn’t want to know how much I was spending.
As entrepreneurs, we find the advice we wish we could avoid. The timing feels inappropriate and somewhat cruel. The desire to throw our hands in the air and scream at the top of our lungs at the Universe, “I’m a failure. Thanks again for f*cking pointing it out – AGAIN!” But, before us is the pearl of wisdom shining like a neon sign to keep going, keep trying, keep at it.
How often when you, as a solopreneur working like heck to make the business financially successful, hear from various sources things like: keep going, you got this, don’t quit; winners never quit, and quitters never win; it always seems impossible until it’s done; there is no failure except in no longer trying; and it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
When is enough, well, enough? Is it when you’re so far in debt it is suffocating you? Is it when your mind, body, and soul are so badly bruised from the self-talk that hurts ten times worse then standing in the dimly lit ring throwing lame punches to keep the beating from Sugar Ray Lenard going? I know there are entrepreneurs out there who totally understand this.
I can hear a friend of mine say, “Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Just go get a job.” I can hear someone else beat the get a job drum she’s pounded for decades. And, as you know, there’s more but it’s not worth exploring. You get the idea.
So what does all this have to do with me giving Spirit a deadline?
Seeping in a warm mug of self-pity looking at the map app to located the closest place that sells printers because mine refuses to accept there is no paper causing the paper jam, frustrated because my numbers were not matching, I firmly (with grand conviction) stated, “If I cannot make a livable income from any of these ventures by June 1st, I’m shutting it all down, getting a job… a job I know I’ll hate because I’ll be trapped in a basement AGAIN…” And, yes, I’ve worked in a basement and it was hell.
Guess what happened. Seriously. Guess. Yep. ALL my client work went away. Everyone was all set. They no longer needed my assistance. It was as if the Universe pulled the plug, and said, “F*ck you, Cynthia.” Nicely, of course.
I’ve tried manifesting techniques; nothing. I’ve burned a field of sage, a forest of palo santo, crates of incense to clear, neutralize, harmonize, shimmy the energies. A big fat nothing there, too. I’ve meditated. I’ve said, written, made up my own mantras and affirmations. Notta. I’ve tried EFT, singing bowls, walking in nature, and even saying I’m sorry to God. Nope.
I drew a line in the sand. And, now, now I must pay the consequences.
The ego within, that not-so-nice voice within, chants, “Get a job. Get a job. Get a job…” on spin cycle.
I’m not looking for your sympathy. I’m not looking for a hand-out. I don’t want your pity nor the so-sorry motivational speeches to never give up. At this point, I won’t hear it.
It’s May 19th. That gives me twelve days before I have to keep my word.
I love my clients. I love being of service to them. I love interviewing people for the podcast. I love being creative. I love not being location dependent and ability to travel. I love teaching and inspiring writers to write. I love all aspects of being an entrepreneur.
So… if you get anything out of this sad, sappy blog post, do not under any circumstances give the Universe, God, Spirit, Angels, or any Divine Being an ultimatum. It will not go well for you.
I will survive. I always do. Something will turn up. It always does. I have faith. I’m not giving up on me.
Go forth walking your journey and have faith, dear one. Better days are coming. As I always state, “Life is an amazing adventure; it was never intended to be lived in gray-scale.”
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ―Dale Carnegie
Explore the adventures that got me here…
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Screw Their ‘Be Happy’ Advice
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Darn, Cindy, I just had a SECOND comment get ‘eaten.’ The internet must be hungry today.
I’ve drawn and erased and redrawn those lines in the sand. As someone who tends to stay too long and try too hard, I know it’s a tough place to be. Life feels better when I trust the process and I’m sure that you willl not only survive but will thrive.
YAY! Your comment posted, Andrea. I believe it may have been a plugin issue. I did deactivate one, and the website is working better.
Thank you for your continued support. I know you understand; a been there, done that understanding. It’ll be interesting to see what’s next.
You will surely survive Cindy! Yes, life has a way of shaking us in our tracks sometimes. But the good news is, we are meant to survive and get stronger. For as long as there is hope anything is possible 🙂
A summer job might’ be fun. Try something new like scooping ice cream for tourists. It’s the jobs without an end date that’s depressing.