When I stated to Cheri and Robert “I’m tired of living in the past”, something deep within my core moved. I do believe I discovered one of those metaphorical boulders blocking my path.
I’ve toyed with the idea of moving for two or three years. It was a concept that didn’t require action, because it was only an idea. It was one of those yeah, maybe I’ll do it someday kind of suggestions. Well, that’s all changed.
When I told Cheri and Robert that I was tired of living in the past, it dawned on me that my home is my past. I cannot move forward with my life where I’m at – figuratively and literally. On my way home that evening, I called my son to tell him of my decision (and to get his blessing). I believe his response was, “It’s about time.”
I hustled to paint walls, fix this and that that I had promised myself to do someday, purged my home of the crap I’d hung onto, and packed my sentimental and wanted processions I don’t use on a daily basis. I came across photographs of moments I’d forgotten about. I cried when I found a note both my sons wrote to me when they were young teens. A thank you card took my breath away as I read the message of gratitude my oldest son wrote when he was experiencing a difficult period in his life. I have expressed every emotion possible and I feel a tremendous amount of release. My heart is full of love, my home is ready and my garbage cans are full of things that no longer serve me.
Within most family dynamics, there’s that one person who (quite often) voices their opinion in opposition of your own. You know they mean well, but telling them some things can be a daunting task riddled with fear. My mother and I think very differently. I’m a bit of an impulsive, no-plan kind of gal. A lot of what I do drives her crazy.
Mom and I stood side by side painting, I stated her, “You know, it seems weird that my five-year-plan-mother is okay with all of this. You are okay with all of this, right?”
She replied, “It’s time.” Whoa! What? Woohoo; she’s good with my no-plan-of-action-after-the-sale state-of-mind that I’m working from. Having her support, and the support of my family and friends, is priceless.
On Monday, my daughter-in-family (an assistant to a real estate agent) walked down the driveway with me to place the for sale sign in front of my 20 acres. As I watched them drive away, I thought to myself, “I will miss this view of the valley when I leave home. It is time.”