How Do I Know If I Am Hiring The Right Coach?
“Healing others heals me; it’s my oxygen.”
Aligning with, and hiring, the right coach is important. Vital, actually.
We’ve all seen the I will teach you how to made $10K in a month, loose 20 lbs this week and write a book in weekend “hooks” by coaches advertising seemingly impossible accomplishments. These tantalizing outcomes appeal to what we most desire – an immediate result. They sell us on a dream of what could be without telling us that we have to work hard and be 100% committed on the goal in a short burst of energy.
The activities, action steps and determination to get goals checked off your to-do list in short bursts of energy is not sustainable. You may loose five pounds that week, and feel marvelous for your accomplishment. However, what typically happens is we go back to our normal daily routine the following week and the weight returns.
Quick fixes are not sustainable, nor mentally healthy. It’s a manipulative set-up that we’re certain to fail in the long run. However, the coach we paid to share her secrets is happy with our results because she got paid and she’s a step closer to her goal of making $10K in a month.
I’m not discrediting coaching. Not at all. I believe wholeheartedly in the powerful mindset shifts and outcomes of working with a healthy-for-you coach. I feel it’s important to share the danger signs of the coaches who do not have our best interest at heart.
My goal is to help you find a coach that you align with and assists you to clarify your goals and attain the outcome you desires in a sustainable manner. Coaching works. I know. I’ve had several coaches get me through various phases on entrepreneurship along my journey.
One key element is to find a coach that’s had similar experiences to your current situation and/or circumstances. How do you find out? Read their blogs, articles and website. Observe the emotions and experiences they bring out as you learn about their journey. Does if feel familiar?
A good coach is a heart-centered person with the strong intention to guide individuals on a similar journey that’s two steps behind them. Envision a person reaching back, taking your hand and guiding you up the steep incline of the mountain of change. Their intention is not to “fix” anyone. The intention is to encourage the desire and curiosity to discover (and do) the best that we are capable.
Danger signs the coach does not have your best interest at heart:
- guilts or manipulates you into signing up for their coaching package.
- makes you feel not good enough.
- attempts to convince you that she/he can fix your circumstances.
- tells you all the things that’s wrong with your [website, diet, finances, relationships] when your intuition informs you they are incorrect.
- you feel you’re being sold.
- tells you what aspects of you to work on.
- promises you’ll have quick results.
- focuses on the cost (or financial value) of the program versus potential results.
Let’s explore the not good enough tactic. In many cases that’s what unhealthy-for-you coaches go after. How do I know this? Because I’ve encountered several of these coaches in the process of re-establishing ElementsForAHealthierLife.com. I want to share the insights I gained from personal experience to help the transition you seek without falling into the emotional hell one women in particular did to me. Can I prevent this from happening to you? Nope. Can I help you understand their motive? Yep.
One coach promised to give me insights so I would know who my target client is. She used astrology as a tool to define me, my strength, weaknesses and the archetype of potential clients. In our discovery call, she did provide the information promised. The remainder of the call destroyed me. It took me a week to get over the impact of her cruelty. I went so far as to delete valuable content from my website. She told me how the website was too vague, my message was “all wrong”, that I needed to write like I talk and “I want you to swear like a sailor because you swear” (yes, that was her advice), my website was sloppy, and, and, and… She verbally shredded the website and message to smithereens and then enticed me to hire her to fix my branding, the website and message to attract a lavish income. What you need to know about this conversation is that I informed her I was looking to gain clarification on how to move forward in organizing my health and wellness magazine/website that focuses on the five elements for a healthier life. I have too many ideas and they’re scattered like shiny confetti in my mind. She strongly disagreed with me when I firmly informed her that I felt swearing is exceptionally inappropriate for this product/service. It a resource tool for (mainly) women who are in the process of transforming their lives from a state of stagnation to participating in a “life in motion.” I was told my statement of “live life in motion” was stupid and lacked a persuadable outcome. I shut down and was no longer a participant in the conversation.
Over the years, I’ve had been told in discovery sessions that my ideas were juvenile, “it” would never work, I’m too negative and more un-pleasantries that I do not wish to bring to the surface because I can feel myself falling into the rabbit hole of self-defeating internal dialog. I don’t need to go there to get my point across to you. You’re smart enough to understand my point.
What are the signs of a “healthy-for-you” coach?
- First and foremost – they listen.
- Encourages you to see your potential.
- Is compassionate when telling you your ideas are unrealistic and guides the conversation with open-ended questions to explore an alternative solution.
- Reminds you that your outcome depends on the effort you put into accomplishing your goal(s).
- They will guide you on your journey; not demand you take a specific route they state is best for you.
- Will offer to hold you accountable so you stay “on track” to achieve the desired outcome.
- Empowers you to seek a healthier way of being.
- Conveys the message that they will motivate and encourage you to achieve your desired outcome.
- They do not offer to be, or act as though they’re a therapist.
- You resonate with them; meaning you feel comfortable with the person, trust them and feel safe to be vulnerable.
- You can be yourself without hiding the aspects of you that you don’t like.
- Inspires you to be and do your best.
- You feel hopeful and excited at the end of the session, not deflated.
- Show you that you have the answers, you only needed some guidance to find them.
- Assist you to establish sustainable short-term and long-term goals.
- Asks open-ended questions as a way to explore and uncover the root of self-defeating behaviors and beliefs.
- Inspires personal growth and desire to learn more about Self.
- Reminds you there are no quick fixes to sustainable life changes.
- Let’s you know that you will have bad days and want to quit.
- Inspires you to learn new skills.
- Instills trust effortlessly and is easy to talk to.
- Compassionate and nurturing (without “mothering”).
- Focuses on your positive accomplishes as well as your self-proclaimed failures.
- Inspires you to take action.
- And, coaches in the industry you are seeking to be coached (you wouldn’t seek advice on how to fix the transmission of a car from a five-star chef).
A “healthy-for-you” coach will NOT…
- use your words, concepts, beliefs against you.
- offer to fix any aspect of you.
- tell you your ideas/dreams/desired outcome is silly or unattainable.
- guilt, manipulate or make you feel inferior.
Quite often coaching occurs virtually (online) versus in person. This can pose the question, “How do I get to know the person before investing in their services?” You may be wondering, “How do I get to know if I even like the person?”
Ways to get to know the potential coach before you commit…
- Register and participate in their workshops.
- Read their articles and blog posts.
- Listen to their podcasts.
- Watch their video.
- Follow, and participate within, their Social Media portals.
- Schedule a discovery session.
It is my hope that you find the “healthy-for-you” coach. I’ve hired several coaches to take me to the next level on my journey as an entrepreneur. Each one has a unique skill set and techniques that empowered me to witness self-worth and impact I have on the world (or at least my role).
The relationship between you and a coach is intended to best serve you. Again, a healthy-for-you coach will have a holistic approach to guiding their clients to stretch and learn new techniques, and form sustainable healthy-for-you habits.
Thank you for reading! If this article inspired you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes it possible to expand the reach to more individuals seeking the elements for a healthier life and to live life in motion. I honor and appreciate you!
More pearls of wisdom…
The Adventure Continues...“Whatever you’re thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you’re worrying, you are planning. When you’re appreciating you are planning. What are you planning?” -Abraham-HicksHow familiar are you with the Law of...